Melis Menent

She thought about how everything could be if she ever had to stay away from her children.

“That’s not away, really. It’s only within the same city. I must be able to see them in the weekends, at least.” she thought to herself. She walked alongside him on that picturesque seaside road. There was no-one around, nobody to bother them. Only the two of them who could still talk, who could make an effort to share.

“It wasn’t like this, in the beginning.” She told him. She wanted him to know, that there was something different about her. That she was having second thoughts. As if second thoughts were available, as if they could be ‘had,’ as such. For women who have been married for 14 years. What did that mean, to her? It meant that she was still young. That she had all her life ahead of her, that she wanted to live happily. She had this one story of Happily Ever After. And she wanted to hold on to it.

She couldn’t stop wondering how her life would change if she could send him away. Only if she could have the good things, about this. This stagnancy in her life. And move on. Her daughter was relentless in disciplining her brother. She kept doing it anywhere they went. That’s why this time, for this beautiful day by the sea, Eleanore wanted her to stay at home. She kept thinking about them, hoping that it would be easy for her maid to cope with what was going on at home. But now, she was not at home. She was out, and nothing could look prettier. 

Her husband always had his own way of making his wishes known to her. He was not somebody who would easily impose. Despite that, you would know what he would have preferred. For Eleanore, the preferences of the man who opened the doors of the world to her had to change. She had to change them. Or she was going to lose. As usual, he wanted to have a big burger with fries. How in the world did that menu match with the expectations she had of this beautiful space? While they were at home, in town, it was easier to match their preferences. It is with a little bit of assistance that they had everything at home. Everything that she needed, everything that he preferred. She hated deserts. She needed her body. After the birth of her son, she had already seen stretch marks on herself. That was quite a bit of a shock. She blamed him, for not having the same himself. But she could never articulate this. Never wanted to tell him more than what he could bear.

Years which went by taught them how to be friends with one another. How to understand each other, in very many ways. In addition to the family which they developed together. She could not have made another choice, anyway. And she did not want to. Together, they had something that she never would. Alone. The companionship of her husband was matched with the two jewels that were her children. She felt that they were there, with her, on that day by the sea. She could hear the sounds of nature close by, feel the gentle wind touch her skin. She wished that the wind would take away her thoughts, her wishes… The ideas about him, him coming back. Waiting there, just at the same place, for her. Nothing would change, only if she could make slight alterations. 

He was walking alongside her on that wooden pathway. Underneath it, one could see the sand which kept glaring at them. She preferred not to wear sandals, not to cut herself from more. From what Nature had in store with her. And she would not. She took a moment to tell him what else she desired. How she approached the world, now. How she was in one more world. But all that would pose obstacles which al would accumulate at the Bank. She left it, unresolved. The pathway had many pieces of worn-out wood, all leading to a place, ahead. She knew that she wanted to wait.